I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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