Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
