I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
