he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
of course. lets lasso hookers.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
