After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize