she is the kim kardashian of front butts
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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