Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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