I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize