His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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