my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
