Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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