so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
