Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
