Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Such a big mess for such a small penis
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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