I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
