lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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