apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
