Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
