just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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