currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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