So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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