Your mouth is God's brothel.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
