bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
