There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
