im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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