Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
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Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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