'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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