I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
