im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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