Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
