He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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