im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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