we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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