after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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