bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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