imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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