She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
