Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
i now understand why vodka
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
