so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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