Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize