My brain says no but my pants say off.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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