Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
