Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
