The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
