I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
