Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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