yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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