If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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