I'm really into asian looking animals
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
oh god the rape fog is back!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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