That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
