Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
