I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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