Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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