So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
