GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I understand Curling. That high.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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