yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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