i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
